6 days to go!

so i have my show next friday and im definatly excited its been a year since ive  had a gallery show let alone a solo one, so here is a few pics of the new work sorry my camara isnt very good better pics to come after friiday!

                                                                      Tsifteteli

Bettie

Gemini

Beauty in the haze:Center Stage

"Imagine the most beautiful thing"

My seeing eye people

It was opening night of My first art show. Britney and I were standing around looking at everyone and i was so nervous.My two pieces were hung and we were looking around to find them.

First Brie found the fun piece i had made, "The Eye Of Brie".

It was  a painting done on the backside of wood paneling, i drew the outline of flames, outlined them with a hot glue gun then painted them in varying shades of fire.When it was done i didn't know what to do So the idea came from one of our"ooh shiny" creative conversations to paint and Egyptian like eye.Since i always called her Brie short for Britney it became "The Eye of Brie" for the one who helped me create it.

We stood in front of the piece and giggled at all the people enjoying it, funny because now looking back at it really was the first of my touchable pieces, since i wanted the viewer to feel the shape of fire.We excitedly walked around for my my second piece, taking in all the art from other artists with blind-ish disabilities. All were such a varying form from retinitis pigmosa, macular degeneration, cone rod and more.Leading the way we found my main piece,"Perfect Chaos."

This piece was the end result form the old profile sketches i had done. I began compiling the profiles(more simple now due to the central vision loss)and kept layering them coming from one face to another across a 2' by 4' canvas.After which i began layering white washes and outlines til i achieved some sense of depth to those who had vision. On the top i did a Jackson Pollack style treatment of black  splashes til from a distance it looked like nothing more than a abstract til the viewer got close . For those with a vision issue like mine it was so much fun to watch there faces as upon getting closer they saw something hidden!

The night went so well so many other artists, talking and understanding each other making "blind" jokes in only the way we can giggling and feeling at home.The news man asked that we all get together and take a group photo.Being that i admiringly am a class clown sorta girl i stood in back. This is funny since i am incredibly short at 5'2"."OK everyone look up here please."the camera woman asked,...

the whole group exploded into laughter! Me and my funny art buddy began making joke upon joke, the laughter didn't stop! David was a great artist the kind of art you could see in a book of children's fantasy tales, his vision was the opposite of mine with him having only central and no peripheral so of course we got along."Next shes going to ask for us to focus," he kept joking.Most of us at this point weren't even standing through laughter, the guide dogs were even not paying attention.After allowing us enough time to attempt to put our game faces back on they took a series of really nice photos.I parted from the group after and laughed it up some more with Brie who was still giggling.

As the night came to a close and i learned of my first piece had sold. Brie and I were gathering our things in such a great mood.One of the artists walked over to us,
"oh is this your seeing eye person?"
"um yes i guess she is, This is my friend Britney .", I laughed i never had really thought about that before.
She introduced herself and her "seeing eye person", who was her boyfriend.And we talked about this interesting and funny term she used.

I don't like my cane, I'll be honest even though it is a huge tool for me i find it attracts more wrong attention then good. If i get on  bus with it, sit in front so i can speak with the driver then look at or read my phone and inevitably people get upset.Suddenly because i have a cane, and have vision enough to squint with it touching my face i must be lying and taking advantage of the system. Thus why being a middle grounder is so frustrating sometimes.So i choose to go out more with people then solo, i realized i have always relied on a seeing eye person over my cane.

Here how to tell if you yourself have a seeing eye person,..
*they lead you across the street without even having to be asked
*they read menus to you
*they describe funny things you may have missed
*they help you with mail
*they enlarge your video games features so you can still play and quest,..(OK maybe that one is just for some people)

but you get the idea

Through out your mobility training ill bet the one thing they missed teaching you about was your seeing eye person, so for all of you who have them make sure you let them know how valuable they are to you and how much you appreciate them, and for those who are seeing eye people you are some of the most caring people i have ever met and please continue to do what you do,..

and to ALL my seeing eye people i love you and thank you for making my path easier to walk and live everyday.

The wobbly easel, ....dedicated to memory of my mentor....

At some point i think everyone has someone come into there life and touch it in such a profound way that they are never forgotten. For most it is a loved one a best friend you've known your whole life, or perhaps your significant other. For  some they meet a person who come through that path and changes something in them or helps them to see something greater, like a mentor.Mine only passed through for a short time but everyday i remember her and will never forget what she really did for me.

I was sitting at home in my apartment on Euclid chatting away as we did Britney and I maybe about nothing in particular but it would lead to something in particular.We had a bad case of "ooh shiny", this is where you can be easily distracted by things or jump conversations quickly. During one of our fun chats i looked at Britney and had signaled some art work i had started to do again, it had been years since my last attempt at oils and wasn't going down that route i wanted to try it again but have fun."i found my old sketch book there are all there sketches of profiles and faces i think i want to paint this canvas but in not really sure want id do next." this complete train of thought sent us thinking and minds wandering What could i do? I didn't go to school for art and well wasn't even friends with any other artists.At some point in our conversation something happened that brought to our attention a newsletter in the mail pile from a organization for those with vision disabilities dong an art show."you need to call this", she said. she knew i wouldn't i was terrified , what would i say? I don't even know any friends who have similar issues what would i say?"your being stubborn and your going to call this number", she said smiling, of course shes right, always was, and she did what any good friend would do,..

She dialed the number , smiled and put her phone in my hand.

I am pretty sure with every ring i heard my heart beat faster. Nervous thought running laps in my head," what do i say""no one wants to see my art!" , and a lot of "oh my gah,..".

someone answered on the line, "thank you for calling this is Judy can i help you".
" I'm calling about some information on your art show"i asked in a hushed tone.
"have you entered before?" she responded.
i responded meekly",...no,..."
that was the beginning of a hour and a half conversation.
She asked me so many questions, she said she was an artist as well, that she had similar vision issues, we couldn't stop chatting!! It was one of the most wonderful conversations i had ever had. I felt accepted, and understood, i never thought i would meet someone who had so much in common with that part of me.Through the whole conversation Britney just sat there smiling, not mad at all at how long i was on phone but she sat beaming at me and my bonding with Judy one the phone.

Thanks to Judy's help i entered the show.I went down town personally to fill out my form and bring photos of my work, i really did it because i wanted to meet this wonderful woman.

What would've been a brief visit turned into another few hours! She showed my all the assistance i could get as an adult let me use the CCTV to  fill out my form, and we talked and talked. We had even bonded over our animals, my cat and her guide dog shared the same name, and a rare one too, both named Harpo(like Harpo Marx).That day in the office truly embedded our friendship.She was the first to call me to tell me I was chosen for the show even before anyone else knew, she talked with me about my eyesight , about using my cane, and also showed me the video for the guide dog group that could help me.

throughout the following month after the show we talked whenever we could, she came by with her husband and Harpo and showed me the guide dog video.That was a very hard day for me.

Then i noticed her calls stopping and i got one out of the blue"would you like to come to my house? I have something very special for you."I was excited of course! i had learned so much she was such an amazing mentor to me and i looked forward to anything else she may have to teach.Her art was one of the most amazing inspirations. She painted flowers close up and star clusters in space, just amazing!She never tried to make anything clear or precise just captured that amazing feeling she got when she saw them.

I arrived at her house with my boyfriend at the tie.He of course was bored and uninterested in going but went for my sake.Our visit started with a brief tour of her lovely home, and her animals,She would adopt her guide dogs after there service and they were so sweet and loving. I admired how clean her home was for all the animals and her sight, she was just remarkable.

"We have been chatting so long i almost forgot." she signaled to her husband to grab the gift.He walked around the corner with this huge 7 or 8 foot tall artist easel.

It was worn and painted on, leaned to one side, and was beautiful." I want you to have this, I have had this since college and i bought a new one the other day. I told my husband i wanted to pass it down to another artist, someone who was visually impaired like me, i want  you to have this. Promise you'll never stop painting." she smiled and i choked back so many tears. "yes i promise", i gave her the biggest hug , . we chatted some more then i had to go being pulled my the boyfriend, we found a way to get it in the car and waved goodbye.

I set it up immediately, looking and touching all the caked up gobs of paint that gave it such character.I felt so unbelievable honored to be asked to paint on it.

After about 2 more months of no response to phone calls, i got an answer,"I'm sorry no one told you Rachel but she ha been on a medical leave that's all we know."

The next phone call was informing me that she had had fast progressing brain cancer and had been trying to get help and in that few short months lost her battle.The day i got that phone call i dropped the phone and just starred at the easel crying ,It wasn't even a year in my life and she was already gone.

I attended her wake with Britney and my boyfriend, but couldn't bring my self to attend the funeral. A few weeks later i attended and spoke at the office were i met her  as they hung up her painting and made a dedication to her.I don't remember what i said just that i cried through most of it.

Judy was truly one of the biggest inspirations on my life, her impact is never forgotten everyday,. I will continue to make art and painting every piece on this easel, until maybe one day i can pass it down and do for someone what she did for me,

thank you Judy for everything.



you can follow my art on here, facebook, and artslent

"why are all of your paintings naked?!?!?!?!"

I get asked this question a lot,

"why are all of your paintings naked?!?!?!?!"

Its really a very simple answer.

Back when i starting finding my own art path, i would draw anything i could.I would wander the art institute down town with my Buddhist friend Al and sketch everything. we would bring our medium sized Bristol sketch books with charcoal in hot little hand. wind through the rooms and floors,gathering crowds of people peering over our shoulders to see how our attempts at capturing the great works  was going.
we would make huge days of this, at that time you could get in any day for free but with  a donation sum of your choosing so we would compile all our money for that and food pack up and head out to our second home.

Al was an amazing artist. He could wield his stick of charcoal and capture any class portraiture with speed and elegance. It was always so awe inspiring to watch him work.He would glance at me and there i was nose almost touching Bristol trying to get shadows and achieve some assemblance of contour.He knew about my vision and a the time i was about 19 or 20yrs old , i was losing vision but hadn't lost all my central yet and had  some color.He would help teach me things to work around and help explain what i couldn't see so i could try to fake it.I tried very hard, and kept at it with persistence.

I went out one night and bought Windsor newton oil paints and everything id need to get going. my first attempt was at Pierre August Renoir's "Cristantamums". i spent my time working the paint creating his visually texture trying to match colors and tones.As i finished my rendition he was very pleased."some one could touch that and really feel what you painted, its not really dimensional but i like it".I took the compliment and tried another piece, Peter Paul Reuben's"Infant Christ and John the Baptist". I had always loved the this piece and decided to put what i had learned to undertaking it.I stressed and cried, no matter how i tried i could not match the colors, i couldn't fake the perspective i layered and layered feeling cartoonish and defeated. AL viewed the unfinished piece me tears on my face" its OK someday you'll learn from this piece finished or not".

I decided at that point i didn't want to paint and i was going to stop, got rid of or sold for small profits to friends the other pieces and packed up my paints.
I walked out onto my porch and begun watching the people walking up and down my city block.I went back in and started just drawing there faces, not the whole body but the profile, the faces.This struck a chord in me, i went inside sketched faces from art books, masters paintings, strictly portraits from the  art institute.The next art play date Al turned to me" hey we never go to the sculpture garden i know its 3d from but would you like to try to sketch it?".Of course! it was a Greek statues they were gorgeous i figured why not. I started with on circular statue of4 figures and made my way around sketching all the figures. Al walked over and noticed something "oh your not sketching just the faces anymore huh?". Hmm i wasn't,.I was sketching the full nude form.

I continues sketching nudes and now in the present painting them. now i have learned from that painting and now i understand my i do it,

You seen that painting was a whole landscape with figures in perspective and surroundings, with my blind-ishness i could never really focus or see enough to re create that,painting in real colors was far too much of a stretch.When i focused on the nude form it became easier to see light and shadow and form, clothes were too 3d for me to grasp i could never get the texture right, hair was a lost cause too.

this is why all my partings but a few are naked, its the most simple way to paint someone, the most beautiful as well.I'm working on a few with clothes or fabrics like the one on this page, its always a challenge but i well never stop attempting to capture the simple beauty of human form, in all shapes and sizes.Now in the latest series and how light sensitive Ive become letting the light and shadow play on my figures its so stunning i try my best to capture it on canvas, painting the shadows now and letting the figures emerge.

I will continue to let my paintings run naked :)

you can follow me here, on facebook, and now on artslant

The littlest Manet

So my mom says to me one night while talking about all this and says" you know your the Manet of the visually impaired art wold!"We both laugh but she seriously couldn't have hit it more on the head at that time.

Even if you don't know much about art  history you may have very well seen or heard of Manet.He was the rebel of the impressionist movement, painting naked woman in position like Greek goddess' and naked woman on lunch outings with sophisticated business men.Shocking at the time, so shocking that a some of the Salons he wasn't invited.His colors edgy subject matter edgy but he didn't care he painted what he wanted from his perspective of France ans society at the time and i love him for it.


I decided  to enter my first real art show about 2002 after an eye opening long conversation with my mentor Judy Jasek and great nudge from friend Britney.it all started great i had very bright work i was just getting my feet wet not really defined my style but i new i loved faces, eyes and portraiture. I submitted 6 paintings to a we shall cal lit a show of my peers with a large organization who helped blind and visually impaired in the city.I submitted two full body paintings, and one large abstract painting, and one fun one as a filler.the nudes were denied, the large abstract was chosen an the last piece that was merely a joke filler that me and my friend like was picked. That should've been my sign that piece was by far not very skilled or very good but i guess it was creative.

The piece chosen was "perfect chaos", (the original). A fun abstract layered in white washes and profile faces topped with pollack style black wipes of paint to create a fun illusion of depth from an artist who couldn't see depth.Both pieces, sold it was exciting.Only my good friend was able to attend that show, i laughed with my peers and realized listening to people experience my pieces that i needed to continue invoking these emotions through my art i loved it.

as i continued to grow i did a series on glass called "study in humanity."

stunning monochromatic  pieces on glass two sided, all painted to show and invoke  basic human emotion. They refused my glass, they refused my nudes.After paying them $30 to submit all 6 pieces they refused them all.Many friends of course piled on the sight after to see what was chosen, needless to say they were very upset, i let it go disappointed but figured they were just being bias.the next year i went back more abstract thinking that's what they wanted, but enjoying the nude female form as art, again took $30 from me and denied all 6 pieces of my now not appropriate sizes and materials work. I was working o more glass and recycled materials to make junk into art, oh no that combined with nudes i was rejected awfully quickly.

after the passing of my mentor and a few year hiatus with this show i had decided to try again. I had just started working on the double negative serous in black and white the one I'm still doing now found my niche sort of speak and figured since my art was made to be viewed by those blind-ish peers that they might love it.

Well i guess i should stop painting nudes because again i was informed that they were all refused and not appropriate for the show. "they said partings are passe " one woman from the organization told me.For being passe they sure did choose a lot and none nudes,...

I found out from another person i knew there that well over a few hundred people submitted paying up to $30 a person and they choose about 12.not only did they not like Lil Manet here but they also took alot of money from artists with a disability.I attended there board meeting with friend Britney close at hand both spoke out about our rage of them pilfering money especially after the organization was discussing there yearly trip for the members and how much money they needed for it.

With all that being said they took the wind out of my sails.I really thought if i couldn't be accepted from my own peer group then who could?

then more acceptance came from the sighted friends, gallery owners,, word of mouth.I felt more confident. Then i got word from some who knew about the art show and they told me " the nudes are risky, they cant be so big, they don like big or on anything other then canvas, and frankly you should play up your eye problems more on canvas"

"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I was so insulted, outraged, and truly sad.I don't want someone to use my disability to make money or make only what they can sell for profit, i wanted to create art.

This is when my mom dubbed me my nickname, "the Blind Manet"

I have since done an amazing show with the San Fransisco lighthouse for the blind.
 The piece choosen was "the bathing Party" the one at the header of this blog. Apiece done in the style of my Favorite artists Ruben's and Renoirs Bathers' series'. I couldn't travel but participate from afar. It was  truly moving experience to know that they accepted my work, they embraced its difference. The show was extended and hung in the San Fransisco city hall, I keep my artist bio covered in braille as a way to remember the show.

As i finish my touchable series i have thought about applying to that show again the one that refused and rejected. I'm going to post the pieces up here when I'm done. Its my last cchance to show with them before i move this summer, I am apprehensive, but whether or not they keep my money and reject me i just want to try one more time to be able to show in the city i love that I've grown up in my whole life,

I only hope Lil Manet can show in one more salon with her peers,....

you can follow me here, on facebook, and now on artslant

"you say blind like its a bad thing,...""yes maybe i do!"

Blondish painter,..
OK amusing to me and my peers others are saying" that's so disrespectful!" or the usual " but you can see SOMETHING can't you"

i live in a visually impaired middle ground, grey zone, understanding purgatory if you will.Since i have some vision but lost  enough i am given the title "legally blind". now follow me here there are many titles they throw at us middle-grounders(like that one) so gotta keep up with me.Legally blind meaning by legal standards i have lots enough vision to either need glasses to function within society's  i.e. driving, boundaries or that Ive lost enough to no longer be able to function within them. Like driving, cant do it ,..legally. I'm sure if you ask a room full of us middle grounders at least a small handful have secretly driven a boyfriend or girl friends car at some point. Being legally blind some can still get glasses and function, i cant.

Visually Impaired. See now this is a broader PC term covering anyone with an impairment from total blindness  or having only one eye, or significant loss.But hearing it it really seem to apply more to the first, to those who have lost total eye function .i fit into this title as well. my visual impairment is from a degenerative eye disease called startgardts macular degeneration/dystrophy. since birth i have slowly lost central vision, depth perception, good chuck of color and grown to have horrible light sensitivity.there is still vision i have peripheral lol i don't think it works well but still i have something.

So those are the two basic title of the middle grounders. Now i have deemed us the mg"s because of one plain fact,... no one gets us. It would be much easier to explain if you had no vision, or one eye was bad or something but people don't get it especially if you cant wear glasses."but cant you see?""can you see me" "how many fingers am i holding up" just a word to the wise,.. that last one is the most ignorant thing no matter if you laughing to say to anyone with a visual disability,..just saying.

So the argument to all this is simply ,.. blindish. I am centrally blind, peripherally blindish, mostly color blind depth blind,.. so I'm blindish.

But i can see.

its just not what you see, to me Ive grown to think everything i see and the way i see it is normal.
this is how i think most in my same position feel. so to use all these names to explain all these titles are really for you, you who are sighted because we feel like we are  normal, we have vision we aren't blind we are just seeing a different perspective that you all miss. having too much or all vision may in fact distract some some amazingly beautiful things in this world

" we exist in beauty but choose to ignore it"

what ever title you deem upon me as fitting it is all a matter of perspective.which is why i choose to change my art style years back. i realized after a horrible experimental trial  i participated in that all my art was made like i "could see everything, trying to compensate and look like other artists. I hated every last piece. I made a conscious decision to paint the way in which i saw everything somethings exaggerated but from my visual perspective, light and shadow, with out depth no more faking to try to paint like i saw what i couldn't just plain me.It was liberating! Its become my goal to reach out with understanding from that point on.

the pinnacle of what i strive for was about 2 years ago,..my first show at the black box diamond. i came in to speak to the owner and a Young boy with a can in one hand and his mother in the other came through the door. The mother very sweetly and politely asked if these were Rachel Dora Ann's paintings. The owner said yes. She smiled and whispered to her son. He smiled so big, then his mother asked if he could walk around to"see"them."of course", he told her. they walked slowly starting from the door, he got within inches of each canvas taking it all in.then he lifted his hand and turned as if waiting to see if it was OK, the owner nodded. The boy touched the pieces and viewed the way i had always wanted them to be seen. before they left she turned sweetly, tearfully"thank you", and left. When i was in school they said all id ever be was a telemarketer, or work in a office for those with disabilities, .. no one ever said i could be an artist or anything i wanted to be.i cried because somewhere i hope in my art he saw that he has more out there for him then sitting squinting in a fluorescent lighted office til he grows old or making phone calls to be who don't need it.I really hope i gave him the hope to follow whatever path he chooses.

i hope i showed him he isn't blind,.. just blind-ish

you can follow me here, on facebook, and now on artslant

the blogging blindish painter,...

it sometimes occurs to me as i sit up late at night no sleep, eyes drooping, tired, strained,this is when  i create some of my more intimate works.

I guess its more amusing to me since I'm legally blind, i lose more vision through sleep deprivation however this is my desired time to create, so I'm an artist who is also a glutten for punishment i suppose.

i decided to start blogging about my experiences doing the new series and my new year in the art world. you see it appears i have become like the "Manet" of the visually impaired/blind artist  community  here in Chicago. i try to show with my peers and are somehow rejected,... I'm guessing because i paint nudes. Hey clothes are hard enough when one has no  depth perception so gimme a break i choose the most classic style of portraiture and am somehow shunned. this year I'm going to go ahead and submit to there show again, one last shot at trying to once again show with my peers in Chicago,last time my excuse was" paintings are a dying medium". The real reason was,.." you stick out like a sore thumb, your pieces are too large, and too naked!"

i started creating art secretly in high school, ruler in hand very geometrical pieces. my mother being the true artist and i knowing i had not enough vision to attempt tried the very modern approach to start.
this soon led to 3am sketchbook rendezvous with pastel chalks, then surrealistic acyclic chances in the morning.
most my friends didn't even know i did anything not to mention that i joined the art club without being in one art class.i kept it my Lil secret til after high school, selling or giving away to the few who knew. I think i felt embarrassed.i was the blind girl we all laughed about it to make it easier on me, who would take me doing art seriously????

there are actually very many blind and legally blind artist, just most don't know they exist. I think the mere thought that a visually impaired person is creating a extremely vision medium boggles the brain. Even more that most vi painters have such depth and texture to there paints on the canvas, it takes more then a quick look from the sighted viewer to even take it all in.

I am finalizing my new series, its a next step to my "double negative" series. Its  series in which i started painting completely in black and white, showing only the shadows dancing on my figures. Allowing for optimal light and shadow reflecting from my severe light sensitivity that has developed in my vision.the newest series I'm forcing sighted viewers to really experience it and view this like me to be able to see it in a diff rent way, I'm so excited :))

Did i mention i have a show in just a few weeks where I'm to debut this?

My goal in art as in the blog to to shine light on a new perspective, where i come from how i do it and what i create.and hopefully make a few people laugh with me a suppose, and for all my peeps out there don't you hate it when someone says hey did you "see" that? :P

you can follow my art on facebook or artslant