To my own eyes stay true

This past 30 days of art and creativity has been more than i could imagine. I think perhaps in this short time Ive learned to accept and push myself more then ever before.

After starting this blog i realized it was good for the soul,  i mean it felt  good to type out how i felt felt through this journey and learn about others along the way who are own their own path living with and accepting there vision loss.After writing "you  say blind like its a bad thing,..yes maybe i do" I met Belinda. After corresponding back forth on our respective blogging pages and talking about embracing what you see and really putting it out there in whatever art you do, i starred at these ballerina sketches i had. They sat for almost a year in my studio. When i had decided to post pics of the sketches people really liked them but i didn't know what to do.I had started painting the black and white shadow series "double negative" in 2005 and i didn't want them to be the same.That night after reading her blog  "blindish" and commenting on each other, i turned and its as if they were waiting for that moment. I  took  out nothing but the black paint, and thought about how it is to watch a ballet from the audience,.. i see no color, it really is a have of beautiful movement and darkness.And here i went losing myself in this moment not trying to do anything but show the beauty in the haze.
This is what i learned from that,..


Beauty in the haze




Rehearsal




Center Stage




Opening Night


It felt so amazing to paint these and then have so many people find the way in which i saw the dancers to  be lovely , embracing my impairment even more helped me to feel even more comfortable on the canvas.

The show opening went amazing, and through the show i was asked by a friend to submit to a show gong on this weekend, I knew i needed to push myself from my comfort zone once again and said yes. I had some sketches i had done, more fantasy inspired of Faeries  Mermaids, centaurs,  since i knew some many including my daughters that loved them. After the opening one of the big hits was the belly dancer painting with the purple aura. I have tried to stay away from color. I  have lost much of my color vision and what i have is so muted from my light sensitivity, things look washed out.Between that and  me thinking no one would want bright colors and choose not to purchase based on their own color opinions i just stopped altogether. The last pieces i made were the s"study in humanity" pieces and i hated the way i tried to paint them.Even with that being said i decided to push myself anyway. I pulled out the sketch book and the canavas' that had sat and to my surprise i just  kept going! once i started i couldn't stop, no sleep not even much coffee needed. Hands growing encrusted in layers of paint as i kept moving,.. til i have 6 paintings done.Reluctantly i started posting them on my facebook, hoping that i did ok trying to keep my style but bring some color and fantasy.

Shockingly enough people loved the color, i didn't understand i thought it would be horrible but even my mother said,."even if you have to paint it brighter to see it the color is good".

My experimental fantasy series


Morning Dew




Meadow




Meadow,Midnight,Morning Dew, and Sunrise




Blush




Pearl

Hopefully they will do well in this weekends show, but even if they don't i know that Ive learned so much through my art and i remember to stay true  to what i can see, and continue to show the beauty in it, to my own eyes i will stay true.
My art is viewable this weekend at Capricon 2011 at the Westin Chicago North Shore and thru February at the Black Box Diamond in Hoffman Estates