inspiration and love comes in the littlest packages

My daughter walks into the front room and taps my shoulder,
"mommy?"
"yes peanut ?"
"I'm so glad your an artist."
she says this and hugs me, big smile on her face as i hear the room grow silent and i hold back a tear.

i promised id go to her parent teacher conference in my hello kitty pj pants, and i kept that promise :)

My daughter is 6 yrs old, and she has a lot more on her plate then some average kids do, she has many many questions about mommy's vision, and art. After i had done my first show, had my mentor passed and then was rejected from the second show i had a new burst of energy and had donated some pieces i made to a charity fundraiser. I was catching speed again finding a groove and thought everything was gong great. Then the best curve ball was thrown to me, doctors were confused, they said i couldn't ever get pregnant but there i was at the doctors office, finding out i was 2 months and expecting.

sometimes bad things can happen to make room for the best things in life, me and my fiance separated, and i began the journey to single blind-ish parenthood. It was terrifying I had all of these second thoughts that id have problems and what do i do if i cant read the expiration dates and,..all you who are parents with  blindness no matter what degree remember the panicked thoughts and sleepless nights I'm sure. Even parents with out disabilities I'm sure have some sort of  pre-parenthood panic.

then the day came when God brought me my little miracle, all 6 lbs plus of little bouncing baby girl.My art sat back for a year while i raised my baby girl, with amazing support of family and friends. The center of my world and all around it, truly my miracle. Soon my fears started to pass and i got back into painting, when i painted she would color.

Soon she got old enough to ask for things and questions, "we have car?" "no baby mommy cant see good enough to drive""why?"
"whats that?""its my cane""why?" soon that question became"mommy why don't you use that more?" and my answer is always" why when i have my wonderful seeing eye daughter?"

As  I started doing more shows i would bring her with, and she would tell people all about me.The first local convention art show we went to she came with and sat in the room in front of where i was starting to hang my paintings. It was my first time showing at this con and she was excited. :hi: she would say when  someone walked pass,"this is MY Mommy's art!". They would always smile and giggle and tell her she was adorable.She got so into my shows even starting at 3 she would ask to make her hair light pink like the girl from lazy town so she felt as artsy as mommy shed say.

A few weeks ago  i finished three paintings, "beauty in the haze" its a series of ballet dancers done on canvas board painted in a blurry black and white."mommy do i touch these so i can see them like blind people do with my hands?"
"no sweetie, stand back over here now look at them, make your eyes all squinty til they are fuzzy."
"OK,.. wow those look cool!"
I laughed," glad you think its cool that's how it looks if mommy was to go and watch a ballet."
"oh,.mommy i love your art!"




My biggest fan modeling in front of her favorite piece


Through every thing i went through and continue to my daughter has become so accepting and understanding to someone with a disability no matter what it is , its not a big deal to her, she See's them as normal just like mommy.She knows i cant see allot but is so supportive and encouraging.She is by far the strongest woman i know.She goes to all my shows, and if you ever go to one i can guarantee that ll you ll hear my little girl explaining my pieces to passers by or bragging about how proud she is of me. she watches me paint,comes in the morning to see what Ive done and even tells me i need to sleep more.

At the opening  of "altered Perception "she was there, showing her friend another little girl at the show how to "see" with her hands to read her mommy's bio in braille



Our friend on the left and daughter on the right


This morning she tells me" mommy i want you to cast my face so blind people and people  like you can see me too. I promise i won't be scared""  I'm sorry sweetie but maybe when your older but you can watch me when i have more sittings. i replied. "yay!" she says as she excitedly dances out of the room.

I am the luckiest woman alive to have such a miracle and such a big little fan. I don't know where I'd be without her :)