Raising her as a visually disabled mother and an artist make for some fun . I'm more open to artist type choices in what she wears and tries, not opposed to earrings or things like that. But i draw a line at her looking older then her age,.. which by the way is 6.I help her with her body image and let her know shes beautiful inside and out everyday.
When my daughter was born unlike most parents i didn't buy all the typical clothes. I found fun unique pretty bohemian flowing tops and dresses, fun colors bows etc. she didn't even have typical stuffed animals, she has soft plushy Kitty's and what not id find in stores on the north side, different types of animals, fell asleep to blues jazz and symphony music.When she was awake she listened to Yes ,Sheryl crow, comporary music, id sing to her , shed dance and i tried to be as eclectic as possible. I am by no means a typical person. Ive been told that most people after getting to know me say that I'm complex and not at all the way I'm perceived.I wanted Madie to be just as artistically and eclectically complex giving her choices.
When she was 2 we started doing "starfall" computer games, and i for several years cut her slow growing hair into a cute pixie cut. not at all normal but adorable on her. You see i try to incorporate my daughter own personality , and i want her to be comfortable with who she is. When she was about 3 we walked into a store that had pink hair spray. She asked me if we could make her hair pink that the lazy town girl, i said yes. I get scrutinized for this but seriously my daughter being creative with her temp hair color isn't that bad. sending your 6 year old to school in a bra or a half top is bad, this hurts no one and lets my daughter express her individuality Young, makes her confident and she feels great about it.
A few years later when listening to some rockabilly music videos on YouTube she saw the pomp style bang hair do, shed seen me do it and she wanted to try it, even wanted to do her bangs pink, i said yes! how creative and adorable! I of course did up her hair for her and shes beamed from ear to ear. for the most part she wears skirts, tights ,knee high hello kitty socks, hello kitty clothes and the occasional sparkly skull t-shirt.I still get a giggle that some moms look at my letting her do that as wrong but i see incorporate clothes ,skin showing and hear my daughter tell me about all her friends wearing bras already,.. shes in first grade *shakes head* i cant wrap my brain around that at all.
So me and Madie had a talk about the bra thing and she said she didn't like it so that was avoided. She had learned to hate the built in shelf bra in her tank tops from target so this was an easy win for mom. As we kept talking we talked about her clothes, her knee high socks and her one pair of skinny jeans. Now these are appreciate they aren't to tight and her stockings are in no way sexy, lol they are totally kids socks bought by her grandma and as far a i ever go clothing wise. She tells me the boys tease her for being too skinny,....what??? she says (mind my daughter is very tiny for her age short and tiny, she looks 5 and shes turning 7 soon) that she like the stockings because they cover her legs when she wears a skirt because the boys tease her for being too skinny,...
Its kinda sad that when not in school my daughter has this amazing beaming confidence, is artistic, already painting space and constellations, but in school is the shrinking violet. She leaves my side every morning glowing and excited, and comes home defeated and with a story everyday of crying. Not for what t she wears or her hair,.. no,.. because shes to quiet or too skinny, or the new one they make her cry then tease her for crying too much. Shes stopped trying in school, we usually do her homework then i do about 2 hours more of working with her because she doesn't remember a thing she learned in class, but can tell me everything the kids did or said to her. Today she had a boy run over her hand and another hit her with a umbrella, she said cause its funny,.. and they wonder why after so much my daughter finally fights back,she can only take so much.
What kills me is shes being teased not for individuality, but for being normal, for being how God made her!!!
Its a shame no one there see the amazing unique artistic girl she is. All i can do is keep supporting her, loving her and teaching her shes better then all that.Raising a girl shouldn't be this hard but I'm in it for the long haul , i love my little girl.
