how i becaome a high school legand, the story of Antus

I had few teachers in high school that i will never forget.

Some good and some bad, some just beyond comprehension. This is a story of one of those crazy teachers,..
Mr Robert Antus :)

He kinda looks like he could be author Dean Koontz's brother right?
Mr Antus was a legend, and the English teacher you wanted to have. You were not allowed to smile unless the story he told was happy, or laugh unless the story was funny. He was strict and passionate, some would say plain crazy .He was so into literature and stories he literally threw himself into telling  them.

My favorite story is still his one about going off to summer camp and the swimming test. As he began the story of the boy he immediately raised his voice and faced the chalk board, then violently started to back stroke across the room! He did this with vigor and intensity and all the students like Moses parting the red sea evacuated there desks as he came barreling through the middle ! He ran right into the back wall and jerked for a second.Antus  kept telling his tale as he turned around and back stroked back to the front of the room. That was his style throwing loudly voice and body into every literary masterpiece.

That year I actually had my counselor switch my English classes so i could have him. Even though i had been diagnosed and she recommended i go to a teacher who would be better at helping me with my "situation".So against her better judgement i switched and undertook the adventure of being one of his students.Our first book if memory is correct was "To kill a mockingbird".  This is forever one of my favorite books, and the office enlarged a copy for me nice and big so i blazed through it as quickly as my eyes would allow.Of course to keep everyone one on the right path and because he was one of those teachers, a pop quiz was to be had at the end of each chapter cluster you were supposed to read.

The day came for the quiz, i stayed up late eyes burning but finished my assigned reading and was ready.I was actually looking forward to showing that i enjoyed the story. I should add I'm not just an Art geek but a Literature one as well. He started class in his usual quiet stern fashion , ordered silence and then passed out the quizzes,..

umm,..
there's a problem here,..

I froze, i thought my vision itinerant gave him the papers on what i needed,... this is ,,..

ditto paper????

Who used that anymore?? The paper was this blur of purple smudges and spots, this was in no way at all legible not to mention not in large print.  This could only get worse if he says,.." OK you have 10 minutes" . OK it just got worse! Wait ,..what? i get time and a half and with this mess I'm gong to need an interpreter,  a magnifying glass, a decoder , and alot of prayer to figure it out!!

I sat in silence , frozen, i was not a child or teenager to buck authority,..but i didn't know what to do.After i sat not moving for about what seemed like forever he approached my desk.
 "You didn't do the reading did you?" he said looking angry.
" i did,." i was quiet, meek, i didn't really know what to say.
" Then take your test ,.."he said walking away.
I muttered" but i cant".
He stopped with his back turned then walked back to my desk,.. omg what have i done, i don't want  the wraith of antus! At this point the entire class has now stopped and is watching my defiance,...
"what did you say?"
now i know my eyes are bad and these things seem to only happen in cartoons, but ,i promise I'm sure i saw actual steam rising from his beet red head.
I know at this point I have become a blubbering idiot. This was the third interaction i had had with a teacher since diagnosis and none good .I had not stood up to any of them, i just sat there and took it. The amount of embarrassment and anger was now starting to well up in me.
I remained crying and non-responsive.
" Rachel that is enough ! You didn't  do the reading and now your interrupting my class! Office now!!!" he bellowed so loud the hair moved off of my face.
I turned my head and uttered quietly and firmly
" no."
 Not sure how this was possible but the room became even more silent, i think other classrooms were listening at this point. It was so quiet i heard my own heartbeat louder then my breathing.
Antus stopped shocked, crossed his arms and walked to his desk. He stood there, then paced for a moment. Then confused but angry made his way back to my desk,
" i will not tolerate your defiaance , you will go to the office now."
"no."
He now looking more confused and amazed at me walked again to his desk. This was a bad thing, now with all eyes on me, and the history of years of being teased for my squinting and blindness, and now for being disabled i was  hitting the point of no return.
The next part happened with some assemblance of courage and stupidity that still shocks me to this day,..
as he came back , arms flayling to yell once one, i stood up, tears streaming to let him have it,..
this is about what i can remember,.. and i said alot,..through lots of sobbing,..
"I am legally blind and I'm losing my vision and its not my fault YOU didn't do YOUR reading my vision itenirent gave you papers about me at the beginning of class and i cant read that! i cant read ditto paper i can only read white on black the best and its supposed to be enlarged and its supposed to be time and a half if i need and I'm not going to the office and I'm not gong to be yelled at!"

I sat down and heard the loud "thud" echo,... i hadn't even told most of my friends about my diagnosis at this point. i had been afraid to,.. now i just screamed it at my teacher through the entire school,...

He stood for a moment with eyes as big as saucers starring at me.  He then put his hand to his head rubbed it and then left the classroom.
Omg ,.. that's it,.. i just got suspended! Everyone waited a minute til they knew he was gone and the flood of  "omg i cant believe you did that!" cheers went up from my classmates. I'd like to say that it felt good ,but with my heart still in my throat not so much. I was still sobbing and trying to makes sense of it all and what i had said.

About another 15minutes later the door opened. I had tried to regain my composure so that i could beg for forgiveness from the dean Mrs Musil.To my shock he came in alone, quiet and with a paper in his hand,..he walked over , took my original test, and replaced the papers on my desk.
" is this OK?" he said in a very low tone.
He had gone and gotten me an enlarged white on black test made!
" yes thank you" i said shocked and meek, i started to cry a little again.
I think it was a combination of relief, shock, and awe.
I finished my test handed it to him.  He told us he'd grade it for next time.
We sat quiet til the bell rang.

We did not speak again about it while i was in his class that whole rest of the year .I had no suspension, no call home, nothing,I was very lucky.

Skip ahead to my senior year of high school. I had come along way out of my shell. I had a co-lead in the musical and wanted to invite all my old teachers. Being that his passion for literature affected me so much I made my way to Mr Antus' last period to invite him. With a fellow friend and cast mate in tow we knocked on his door.
He was at his desk and turned and saw me at the door and smiled.He motioned for us to come in.I walked to his desk and leaned down since his class was sitting and working on something.
" i just wanted to invite you to see the musical Cabaret, i play Frau Schultz and id love you to see it".
 I handed him the flyer.
He smiled ,"absolutely" he said with a big smile.
" can you come here a moment?"
I smiled and nodded my head.He took my arm and walked me to the front of the classroom.

" do you all remember the story i told you about the little girl i had who was the only student to ever stand up to me and live? This is Rachel!"

 He smiled and i smiled!The class laughed and clapped, I couldn't believe it!! Somehow my bravery made it into one of his epic stories! I gave him a hug and smiled, "Thank you!" That thank meant more then thank you for making me a story. AT that moment i learned to speak up for my self for the first time, to not be bullied , to not  be afraid. It also meant someone understood and accepted me.

I might have became one of his legendary stories but Mr antus will always star in many of mine, thank you for your passion and everything you taught me and all who had you, we  are truly grateful for the experience.

You will forever be missed and remembered.